Why I’m making no London 2012 medal predictions.
At the 2008 Beijing Olympics, I said if Great Britain managed to achieve its medal target, I would perform a forfeit: to video myself dancing to a Westlife CD and post the best bits on the Internet.
"My name’s Gavin Cruickshank, sometimes known as Knaw.
"A while ago, I mentioned that if Team GB actually managed to get thirty-five medals at the Beijing Olympics, I would make a fool of myself on the Internet.
"To that end, I wish to extend my warmest congratulations to the team who managed to absolutely thrash that target, and that means I have to pay the forfeit, which was to dance to a band whose name I can’t even bring myself to mention but it’s [holds up Westlife CD] them.
"So if you don’t want to see me dancing like a[n] octopus putting up a deckchair or miming badly, or anything like that, shut down your computer and go and do something else.
"Otherwise, pour yourself a whisky, pull up a chair, crank up the volume, sit back and relax."
The rest of the video is dancing. You have been warned.