You’ve been framed.
"I saw a YouTube clip of a three-year-old girl who’s pretty good at scaling door frames. As I was watching, I thought, ‘It can’t be that hard to do,’ so let’s have a go.
"So, hands up here, one foot there and… ah, it’s okay, I’ll get it in a minute. One hand there, other and foot…
"Maybe if I try the other foot first, okay, three, two, one… ah-yah.
"Okay, fine. I’d better stop now or I’ll lose my invalidity.*
* Invalidity used to be a type of sickness benefit.