Knaw's vignettes

A LiveJournal refugee posting short self-made videos on no particular theme, all in high definition and with transcripts where possible.

Willing to contribute to video projects.
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Posts tagged lady gaga

Lady Calc Calc.

After yesterday’s video about a method of multiplication using your fingers, I taught Lady Gav Gav. Here’s how she did.

Transcription:

"Hi, it’s Lady Gav Gav here. Gavin tried to show me a method yesterday of multiplying using only your hands, er with certain numbers of course. Erm, and I just thought I’d try and do this.

"So if you want to multiply, er, say, seven by eight, one of these is your seven finger and the other’s your eight finger. Think that’s it.

"Then you multiply the… no, you don’t multiply the bottom, you mult… no, you get… you count up… Do you know what? Sod this for a game of soldiers. [Taps at calculator.] Fifty-six.

"Carry on, you little blog hogs."

Cheese before bedtime.

When she’s struggling for song ideas, Lady Gav Gav often munches some Stilton before turning in.

She woke up from a nightmare at three o’clock that morning and recorded her next big hit, available soon in all good record stores. And a few mediocre ones.

Carry on.

Who’s the Gav’nar?

Transcription:

"Hi there, I’m Lady Gav Gav.

"I’ve nothing to say, it’s just in case you’d forgotten.

"Carry on, you little blog hogs."

The last straw.

Transcription:

"Hi there, I’m Lady Gav Gav. I’ve been staring at this carton of orange juice for about an hour now but it’s not doing anything. I thought something would have happened by now.

"It’s just… it says, ‘concentrate,’ on the side, so I am. Oh well, we’ll give it a few more minutes, I think.

"Carry on, you blog hogs."

I like it. (Original video)

A parody of the Aldi comparison adverts, this time with clothes-pegs.

Transcription:

"I like these clothes-pegs. And I like these clothes-pegs.

"But I don’t really mind which I use. Lady Gav Gav does all the washing round here."

Carry on.

Panic! (Original video)

Transcription:

"O-M-G, I am just up out of bed and I read in the paper that there’s a serial killer on the loose in the area.

"So it’s not the sort of thing I want to read at this time of the morning, but serial killer or not, I could murder a bowl of cornflakes.

"Carry on, you weirdos."

The age of Aquarius. (Original video, recorded 2011-12-14)

Transcription:

"Hi there, you weirdos. I haven’t been around, no, I’ve been preparing for Christmas. I’m, like, totally psyched for this year.

"One thing people keep asking me, tho’. They say, ‘Lady Gav Gav? Is that all your own hair?’ I say, ‘Well yes, it is, don’t be silly. I’ve paid for it myself.

"Carry on, you weirdos."

Original video 2011-09-13: Miss understanding.

Transcription:

"Oh right. Oh right! Ah, ah… I see what you mean. Right, okay. Well, er, I’m sorry to have, er, to have bothered you. Er, I don’t suppose you, er… no, no, okay, that’s… that’s out of the question, I see. Okay, take care, bye now.

"Um, that was Screwfix Direct on the phone. Public service announcement, turns out they’re not a dating agency. My mistake.

"Carry on, my little blog hogs."

Original video 2011-09-01: Through the looking-glass.

Transcription:

"I owe the blogosphere a huge apology for letting Lady Gav Gav loose with the camcorder. I promise you I will take steps to make sure that it never happens again, especially that last video. Did you see it?

"Anyway, you may have noticed that she never wears glasses in this blog as she does in her music videos. That’s because I stepped on them some time ago. Yes, you know the feeling: walking along, crunch, there we go.

"She wasn’t happy about it so I bought her these. What do you think? Think they’ll suit her? I hope so but, and, erm, don’t tell anyone this but she’s quite clumsy herself so they’re not exactly the most expensive pair in the world. Okay? Just between you and me, okay? Shhh.

"Carry on."

Original video 2011-08-22: 3. ?!

This is the third and final video that Lady Gav Gav filmed when left alone with the camcorder. I don’t know quite what to make of it.

The featured music is her top twenty hit Lovegame.

Carry on.

Original video 2011-08-22: 2. Don’t worry.

The second of three videos by Lady Gav Gav after letting her loose with the camera.

There is no speech, so no transcription. The music is Don’t Worry by Appleton. Don’t blame me, she picked it.

Carry on.

Original video 2011-08-22: 1. The silent treatment.

I let Lady Gav Gav loose with the camcorder and she’s made three, er, unusual videos. In this first one, either she doesn’t know what to do, or she’s copying that Japanese girl on YouTube who stares at the lens.

You haven’t gone deaf, there is no sound, but you can never usually shut her up.

Carry on.

Original video 2011-07-16: Return of the Gavs.

I need to apologise on two counts:

  1. I’ve been experimenting with ways to reduce the file size of my videos without reducing the quality, but the sound on this one isn’t as crisp as it should be.
  2. I intended to post this yesterday but it’s taken so long to experiment that I had to post it today.

And here’s the transcription:

"[Gavin Cruickshank] Crikey, this is the first proper video entry I’ve done for a while, altho’ I did update a few days ago if you scroll down the page, about a music video that I helped to shoot and edit.

"All you need to do is visit the page and if you’re a Facebook user, click Like under the video, that’ll give us a vote and… it’s a competition, and the competition is quite stiff, so the more votes we have, the more Likes we can get, the better.

"In other music news, I’ve booked my T In The Park ticket for 2012. It’s a whole year away, which is quite a long time to plan in advance, however it’s… I last went in 2009 and I thoroughly enjoyed it so I thought I’m not going to go back in 2010 because it would have ruined it but now is the time to return.

"And this’ll be the third time that I’ve been. The way I do it is rather than camp, I get the bus there and back each day which to me, works a lot better. And obviously, because it’s so far in advance, we don’t know who’s going to play. I mean, Lady Gav Gav could be playing, are you?"

"[Lady Gav Gav] I have, like, no idea. You’ll have to speak to my agent."

"But yes, whatever happens it’s going to be good and, er, I can’t think of a way to end this.

"Heck, I’m just going to leave that in. I can’t think of a way to end this, apart from to say:

"Carry on."

Original video 2010-05-17: Lady Gav Gav tries planking.

Transcription:

"Hi, this is Lady Gav Gav. I’ve been reading about this craze of planking on the Internet. Now apparently, it’s really dangerous but I don’t really see it myself, unless of course you poke your eye out with the end of it, but it seems a perfectly safe activity to me.

"Carry on you little weirdos."

Original video 2011-05-11: My super sweet injunction.

Transcription:

"Hi, this is Lady Gav Gav. I’m afraid you haven’t heard from me a lot recently because I’ve been slapped with one of these super injunctions.

"So I’m afraid I can’t tell you about the story between me and a certain major rock star or what happened at a certain large London hotel. So, sorry but I have no gossip.

"Carry on, you little weirdos."

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